I find it funny how important we make one little number when it relates to the changing of a year. I mean, really, it's just one number, and January 1, 2011 won't be much different than December 31, 2010. Maybe we need to have this "fresh start" to keep us from giving up though. I don't know, I just hope that 2011 is better.
I had my 3d ultrasound today and they didn't see a septum, just a uterus sort of shaped like a heart but totally normal. So, yay? It still doesn't mean that Dh will be able to produce enough sperm for us to even attempt to get me pregnant.
And after that, Dh had his urology appointment (which they had requested I attend too). All they did was draw some blood to test and talked to us about meeting with a geneticist to determine if the cancer Dh had was genetic and if it could be passed on to his children. So, basically, as far as his counts go, if it's not a hormonal thing, it's likely a result of his chemo and then we're screwed. The end.
Originally, when we first were thinking we had a problem, I asked Dh if he would be open to using donor sperm and he was. But, now that it may be one of our only options, I don't think I'm okay with it. I just feel like that would be my child with another man. If we had to use donor eggs, I feel like that would be different because I would still be carrying the baby.
But, anyway, my head hurts and I'm tired, so no more talking about this for now, I'm going to get a drink..
Happy New Year everyone!
HUGS! I don't know what else to say right now, and don't want to patronize you with the same old stuff, but I do care and am here if you need someone to talk to. I will keep you guys in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Stef, that means a lot. :*)
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