Tuesday, August 30, 2011

There is no light at the end of this tunnel..

Is there?

I can definitely see DH and I many years from now, childless, and I'm not okay with that.

So, obviously, I have no fertility updates for the old blog since I'm still waiting.. and AF keeps showing at random intervals just to mock me.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

I'm not good at sharing..

First off, I have a little brother so I am not technically an only child. But, I *was* an only child until I was 12 and am still my dad's only child so I have more of an "only child" psyche than that of an "oldest."

I spent my childhood playing with (and not having to share) my toys in my private playroom, I always had my own bathroom, and when I turned 16, my parents bought me a car that was all mine.

As you can imagine, this has presented some problems when it comes to being married and sharing a home with a boy. And my husband grew up with a sister that's only a year younger than him, he doesn't remember NOT sharing his things. He amazed me when we first moved in together and he readily let me use any of his things. I really couldn't believe it, he was so generous, so nice!

And he's still SO nice to this day, which is great. But it makes me feel like a Class A Bitch when I don't let him do things like, say, take my brand new car into Somerville, MA, one of the most populated areas in the world! (okay, I don't know that, but it seems like it) He's going to a baseball game with his sister today, he was driving to her house and taking the train into Boston. So, he wanted to drive my brand new car 20 minutes and then leave it on the mean streets of Somerville! For at least 5 hours! REALLY?!? And here's how he asked me: "I was thinking of taking your car today, if you want..." I think he was going for "If you don't mind" which would have elicited a better response from me instead of the "WHY WOULD I WANT YOU TO TAKE MY CAR?!" that came out of my mouth (I also hadn't had any coffee yet..)

After a few minutes, I calmed down and asked if he could see my point of view.. to which he smiled and said "No, I don't.." even though I know he did.

And really, he doesn't hold a grudge about anything (a foreign concept to me!) but he's SO nice that it makes me feel awful when I act like that and as soon as he left (in his car), I wished I had let him drive my car because really, what does it matter that it's brand new? It would suck just as much if his car was damaged or stolen (and my car has Onstar so no one is getting away with taking it!)

He just wanted to play with my new toy and I forgot how to share.. :(