Wednesday, August 26, 2009

So, it's back to this not sleeping thing again..

Some recent events have granted me insomniac status yet again, I was awake for the first announcements that Sen. Kennedy had passed and that certainly didn't help me sleep again, so sad. I'm going to c/p my post to my fellow Boston nest ladies about my grandmother, I call it my "rude awakening" because even after you know people for 26 years, you still don't really "know" them:

My grandmother called me yesterday and is all upset and overwhelmed because my grandfather has cancer and has been going through surgeries and chemo for the past few months and she's been basically completely dependent on him since they got married 55 years ago. So, now she's having to be in charge but she has no shortage of family to help (they live in my hometown). Well, a recent event makes it quite possible that my grandparents will be driving 6 hours alone to have my grandfather's feeding tube fixed since it's started to fall out. My grandfather is by no means comatose or anything and my grandmother is perfectly healthy so this is not an unreasonable thing for them to do. WELL, on the phone call, my grandmother starts out b!tching about my mom which is fine, sometimes we need to vent, but then she starts saying that they're going to have to have their 3 perfectly healthy dogs put down because they can't take them on the trip and they have no one to keep them and they're going to have to make several more trips to the cancer center before my grandfather is better. So, I started out explaining that my mom would watch them (it's the trip that she can't go on) or they could board them, etc.. but there was no talking my grandmother down, she kept going on and on and I finally was yelling at her, telling her she's ridiculous, etc, and she finally says "I didn't mean to upset you and I love you, but I won't be calling you ANYMORE."

Seriously?!? I've always been close to my grandparents and we've been through a lot together, she's going to just write me off for arguing with her one time? AND, her dogs are like her children and her first thought when it comes to what to do with them is to kill them? She's obviously off her rocker and has had a nervous breakdown once before.. But I just feel like I've seen a side of her I never knew was there and she has totally fallen off the pedestal that I had her on for so long and it hurts. Grandparents are supposed to be wise and patient and compassionate which mine were, up until yesterday.

And the dogs are fine, my grandmother loves her dogs more than anything and I don't honestly believe she would do anything to harm them. I called my mom and she also assured me that my grandfather wouldn't let my grandmother even try to have them put down.. and I called my grandmother's niece and she went to visit yesterday and my mom did as well. I just wish I was there to help too. And I feel bad for my poor grandfather who just needs to rest and instead he gets to deal with lunatic woman, ugh..

So, this has been what I think is my first big 'adult' rude awakening, apparently the world's not made of lollipops and cotton candy!

(And what is keeping my parents from going with my grandparents on their trip is my stepdad's brother in law's funeral in Texas and my brother just started the new school year, so my mom has to stay home with him, good reason, right? Well, apparently, it wasn't good enough for my grandmother.. PLUS my parents have already made plans to go with them when my grandfather has his big tumor-removing surgery in a couple of months and they'll be there for at least 8 days)

Also, I found out that one of my friends from high school died yesterday, we hadn't kept in touch but it's still sad that he's not out there living his life anymore.

AND, to update my TTC status, I get a total FAIL for temping this month, I just couldn't get back into taking it around the same time and so they were all over the place and I had a temp spike (no ewcm though) and CH's for almost a week before they went away so that was really discouraging and then I had ewcm for about 3 days last week, so I'm hoping that I actually O'ed (I had an epic fail with the opks!) because I had sporadic ewcm last cycle so I think it was anovulatory. BUT, this cycle I had lots of creamy (which was weird for me) and then those 3 days of ew and then nothing since then. So, fingers crossed, AF will show in the next couple of weeks (at this point, if I get a bfp, great, but having Af and a normal cycle would be almost as awesome), I'm almost.. almost sick of this whole TTC game and am thisclose to giving up and just letting what happens happen, we can always adopt in a few years..

1 comment:

  1. Aww hang in there Crys.. I'm thinking positive thoughts for you. :-)