I often feel those two emotions simultaneously and I certainly can't be the only person like this..
Right now, for instance, I'm sad that I'm not in Florida so I can help my grandparents but I'm happy that I don't have to see my grandfather hooked up to feeding tubes and chemo pumps. I want to go home for a visit in the next couple of months but I keep putting off buying my plane ticket or setting a date which makes me feel like maybe subconsciously I don't want to go. In the past, my tardiness to something has been a good indication of my dislike for whatever it is I'm going to, I don't show up late on purpose, it just seems to happen. So, maybe this procrastination with plane ticket buying directly relates to my tardiness..I don't know, I'm too tired to think anymore.