Thursday, July 2, 2009

I can't sleep these days...

Perhaps I should get off of the internet before 1am, then maybe I won't be all stimulated when I try to get to sleep..haha, that sounded dirty..
ANYWAY.. I miss my house, I have since we moved here.. Dh and I cried when we drove away from it, we had so many plans for that place. Occasionally (like tonight) I come across pics of it and I long to be there again. And if I'm not longing to be there, I'm thinking about it at least once every single day (and we've lived here for 6 months now). When I had my giant dramatic meltdown a couple of weeks ago, Dh offered to start looking into moving back if I'm so miserable here. But I'm not miserable and I think this is important, for us to be completely on our own. And somedays it blows my mind to think about how far away we've moved and I think this was a great idea. But, when we bought the house a year ago, I thought *that* was a great idea. It was in an (what we thought) up and coming neighborhood, it was near the beach, it was close to tons of stuff and we thought we got a great price and could start our family there and then move on once we outgrew it, and the market would be up by then and we'd get good money for it and go buy a nicer place. It was going to be the jumping off point of our awesome life. And then a few months later everything changed and now we're back in a rented apartment (that's really nice but it's still just an apartment) and in no position to buy another house any time soon. Yet we're still chugging along on the baby train and I guess I just feel unstable now. And honestly, I was dying to move away from my hometown for basically my entire life and caught a glimpse of how exciting things could be when I went away to college. But, after buying the house I had accepted the fact that I was choosing to stay there and was ready to start our family and glad to be doing it so close to all of our family. And it's not like we were forced to move, it was a mutual decision, but everyday I randomly get a flash of us moving back into our house and realize that it would make me SO happy. But, then I think I'm not giving this place enough time, I mean, I lived in Florida for 25 years, surely 6 months isn't enough time to adjust to living in a completely different place..
And I miss the winter, at least the snow was something that distracted me from my pity party..

1 comment:

  1. It will take some getting use to. I remember when I first moved away from my parents and that was hard, and it was only for a year. Keep your head up