Thursday, February 9, 2012

That "so overwhelmed you might hyperventilate" feeling..

On Parenthood last night, Sarah freaked out because while her boyfriend talked about traveling to Morocco, all she could think about was how, if they're going to have a baby, they have to do it NOW because she's already 40. I thought "that's exactly how I feel!" followed by "but I'm not anywhere near 40!"

I'm 28 and I understand that I'm still "young" in terms of fertility but when I think about maybe quitting all this fertility treatment business for a few years, I almost hyperventilate because I know that in just a few short years I won't be "young" anymore and will be facing even more issues with conceiving. I don't want to wait too long and regret it.

Also, more of the reason for my freak-out besides my aging eggs, are my grandparents. They have always been a huge part of my life and always seemed so young and lively to me. But, in the past few years, they've started rapidly aging and it's beginning to occur to me with more and more frequency that it's very likely I will outlive them. I want them to know my children and I want them to be around long enough for my children to remember them. And the more time that passes, the less likely that is going to be. So, in a sense, my fertility timeline isn't really my own.

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