I've been having a hard time getting out of my AF funk this time. In the past, I would be devastated when Af showed but would be optimistic again by the time she was over. It's just not happening that way this time. I think it's the dread of what's to come with going to the fertility center. I know it's going to be mean more testing, more obsessing over my cycle, and possibly thousands of dollars.
It's really becoming a distinct possibility that I may never become pregnant and will have to adopt to have children, which is fine, I'll do what it takes, but that would be another whole long process that I know nothing about. So, now I'm looking at years and years of being childless and that's really depressing considering the ache I feel when I think about how badly I want children.
To try to rid myself of my funk, I've decided to rid my life of potential baby things, I'm not checking mamabargains or babysteals, I'm not looking at the baby section of Target, and I'm trying very hard to make myself delete my bookmark folder filled with things I might want for my imaginary baby. As part of my 'cleansing,' I decided to unfollow blogs that are about babies, this doesn't include you girls that I "know" that just had babies, I'm talking about blogs that I follow that are all about decorating kids rooms, reviews of baby products, etc.. The problem is, I can't freaking figure out how to unfollow them! I clicked on the blogs and couldn't find anything, I clicked "manage" under my blog dashboard and there was no option to unfollow like blogger help said there would be. I can't believe it's seriously this hard to delete some blog subscriptions! If anyone has any other insight, please clue me in!