Being left behind yet again...

We've had another wave of bfps over on my favorite board and while I'm genuinely happy for all of them, some of the girls have been trying for so long and have overcome so many obstacles, I feel like I'm being left behind again. I have no real reason for this as I am around 14 dpo and Af hasn't showed but I know she will just like she does every cycle. And it's going to suck and it will mean moving on to another round of clomid, another round of praying it works and worrying about timing and opks. I really really want to be hopeful but I can't, partly because if I do, I'll be even more crushed. Some of the girls on the board are part of a blog, called Bloomin' Babies and everyone is a something "bud." I could be "Pessimist Bud," or "Glass half empty Bud" haha.