Monday, March 28, 2011

Margaritas sure sneak up on you..

I was drinking a strawberry lime margarita.. it tasted like kool-aid, so I had another.. and another.. and now I just spent way too long trying to type "strawberry" correctly, lol.

I'm a terrible blogger, I never have anything to say except when I have updates from doctors and tests. And then it's just me whining about how awful the results are.. really.. infertility has taken over my life. At least that's what it seems like on the surface. But, really, it's not all I do. In fact, my co-workers know what I'm going through but I don't talk about it very much. Same with my family, unless I have an update, I don't have much to say about it.

I usually have funny/dumb things to say.. and since I work in retail, I have an endless array of crazy stories to share. And I'm never afraid to make a fool of myself.. I have been known to try on underwear over my clothes and dance around like a mad woman if it will get a laugh out of someone.

But, infertility, it's on my mind ALL the time. And I'm kind of in an odd position now that we have Dh's diagnosis. I mean, yes, I have mild pcos and don't ovulate every single cycle. But, his diagnosis is our main problem and I feel like I don't "own" this infertility title anymore. He doesn't really want to talk about it with everyone he meets and I feel like it's not my place to since it's not "mine."

So, I've been following all these fab people on twitter who are going through/have been through IVF and I love to let them know that I'm thinking of them while they await their latest beta results, etc, but I feel like the creepy stranger because I haven't shared anything of my own. I would share more but Dh is on twitter and follows me.. and he's generally not cool with me discussing his balls with random people. So, I continue to stalk these people and their blogs and try to find someone who has had similar circumstances. And I haven't found anyone yet.. most people I've seen that were diagnosed with MFI had blocked tubes or random reasons why they don't produce enough sperm. I'm sure there are other guys out there who had chemo when they were younger and are now having fertility issues and I'm sure they have partners who blog about it. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, I don't know.

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