Oh, and I think we're going to try fertile-aid..

Does anyone have any experience with that?

I figure it can't hurt to try it to regulate my cycles/maybe increase Dh's sperm count somehow.. I mean, it's not something the doctors have suggested but I understand that supplements are not what they're trained to recommend. Dh is pretty skeptical to the effectiveness of multivitamins even (but I've convinced him to take them anyway, haha) and when I asked if he would be willing to try fertile-aid for a few months, he was up for it.. so I think I might order some..

Margaritas sure sneak up on you..

I was drinking a strawberry lime margarita.. it tasted like kool-aid, so I had another.. and another.. and now I just spent way too long trying to type "strawberry" correctly, lol.

I'm a terrible blogger, I never have anything to say except when I have updates from doctors and tests. And then it's just me whining about how awful the results are.. really.. infertility has taken over my life. At least that's what it seems like on the surface. But, really, it's not all I do. In fact, my co-workers know what I'm going through but I don't talk about it very much. Same with my family, unless I have an update, I don't have much to say about it.

I usually have funny/dumb things to say.. and since I work in retail, I have an endless array of crazy stories to share. And I'm never afraid to make a fool of myself.. I have been known to try on underwear over my clothes and dance around like a mad woman if it will get a laugh out of someone.

But, infertility, it's on my mind ALL the time. And I'm kind of in an odd position now that we have Dh's diagnosis. I mean, yes, I have mild pcos and don't ovulate every single cycle. But, his diagnosis is our main problem and I feel like I don't "own" this infertility title anymore. He doesn't really want to talk about it with everyone he meets and I feel like it's not my place to since it's not "mine."

So, I've been following all these fab people on twitter who are going through/have been through IVF and I love to let them know that I'm thinking of them while they await their latest beta results, etc, but I feel like the creepy stranger because I haven't shared anything of my own. I would share more but Dh is on twitter and follows me.. and he's generally not cool with me discussing his balls with random people. So, I continue to stalk these people and their blogs and try to find someone who has had similar circumstances. And I haven't found anyone yet.. most people I've seen that were diagnosed with MFI had blocked tubes or random reasons why they don't produce enough sperm. I'm sure there are other guys out there who had chemo when they were younger and are now having fertility issues and I'm sure they have partners who blog about it. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, I don't know.

We're moving!

Not back to Florida, like I would be super happy to do, but we're moving to a bigger place (with no upstairs neighbors, yippee!). It's not a brand new place like we've been living in for the past 2 years but it's a 2/1 townhouse that's near a lake that I take the doggy to all the time in the summer and it's right around the corner from all kinds of cute restaurants/shops.. and it's the same price that we've been paying for our 1 bedroom apartment but it's twice the space. I'm happy we'll already have a second bedroom in case we decide to start the adoption process (we're still very undecided and focusing on our move before we go forward with anything).

The only thing I'm really concerned about is that it has no central ac. I know tons of people up here don't and the summers aren't that long/hot but being a Florida girl, I've never lived without it so I'm scared! We're planning to get a couple of good window units and maybe a portable unit so hopefully it all works out..

Glad to know something works.

I was bragging to DH last night that I may be ovulating soon because I'm having all kinds of symptoms that I've been having the past few cycles (but I haven't been charting or taking opks because, well, I can't stand building up hope anymore). So, this morning, I randomly decided to take an opk for old times sake, fully expecting it to be negative because really, I can't know my body that well, can I? And boom, smiley face! So, I immediately took a pic, sent it to Dh, bragged about how well I know my body, and told him to tell his sperm to man up!

And now hope has crept back into my mind.. I mean, it only takes one little motivated sperm doesn't it? Ugh, whatever, going to go drink my green tea now..