I'm generally pissed at the whole world most days..

On the news, they told a story of some cats that were doused in gas and that had to be put down because it seeped into their organs. The story focused on who could have done it and what mean people they are and I get that, it shouldn't have been done and the people who did it should pay. But, I also am angry at the owners and I hope they're angry with themselves and learn something from this. Domesticated animals are not meant to be outside. If someone's 2 year old child was left outside to wander freely and do what it wants, the parents would be sent to jail. I feel the same way about the animals, they're helpless, they rely on their owners for protection and they trust their owners to keep their best interest in mind and when they don't, it's always the poor animal that suffers. I've discussed this several times with people I know that let their cats outside and most of the time their excuse is usually one of two things:

1. "My cat doesn't leave the yard."
2. "But they love going outside so much and won't leave me alone until I let them out."

Seriously, unless you are constantly watching your cat while it's outside, you don't know what it does and if your kid begs you to let it light it's hair on fire, you still won't let it because you know it's not safe!

Sometimes, I don't think I can handle hearing any more stories of animals who have morons for owners and I don't think anything I say or do will make any difference. Maybe I'll stop watching the news and going on the internet. And I'll stop talking to anyone at all.. just to be safe.

Can't we just deport all of the morons?

I need to speak to intelligent people right now! I've had stupid flying at me from every direction lately and I can't take it anymore. Thankfully, I have tomorrow off so if I can just avoid facebook, I think I'll be able to avoid hearing/seeing anything ridiculous.

Oh, and sorry I haven't posted anything in a while.. I felt like I was being too whiny and negative and was sick of having a pity party on here. (I swear I'm not that whiny and negative in real life!)

And as far as the TTC situation goes, I'm starting clomid once this cycle ends (hopefully in 12 more days once I finish my provera!) I found a new doctor who spent a great deal of time talking with me about ttc and learning as much as she could about my situation. That was refreshing after the multiple appointments I had last year that would be all of about 5 minutes long and would leave me feeling like the doctor didn't give a crap about me.

So, I'm cautiously optimistic right now and so glad I'm finally moving forward.

I'm warm, finally!

Some days, I get cold and can't warm up no matter what I do. Today was one of those days.. Dh and I went out to lunch and I was fine but once we got home, I was freezing! Our thermostat was on it's normal 72 degree setting and I was wearing my normal pjs with a sweatshirt so why was I so cold?!? I'll never know. I turned on the fireplace and laid in front of it with a huge blanket on top of me and I was still shivering. So, I finally got up and plugged in my electric blanket and made some tea. Now, two cups of hot tea and several minutes of sitting here with my blanket on me, I'm warm. Actually, I'm hot and feel like I'm about to start sweating but I'm so happy to not be cold anymore, I'm not moving.

And is it just me or does it feel like it's been cold here non-stop for the past year? Sometimes, I miss Florida..

Okay, so now I may just start hating the snow..

Like a proper New Englander! Tomorrow marks the beginning of my 7 (unpaid) days off, 6 days I took off to spend with my Bff (with an extra day at the end for recovery, haha). But, as of 10pm tonight, both flights she had to get here were canceled because of the stupid snowstorm! It doesn't help that she's coming from Ohio and was connecting in DC.. and last I heard, she had been on hold for a very long time with the airline, trying to reschedule her flight. Not a good way to start a trip!

I think I'll go punch the snow in the face when it gets here.

Today I escaped my life..

For about 6 hours.. I watched The OC, oh yes, sexy people doing sexy, scandalous things, it was a must see back in the day and I forgot how much I love it..until today when, on a whim, I put on one of the dvds. I was just going to watch one episode..then I would go do the things I needed to do today.. then I watched another..and another. And then, I had to take the dog for a walk and Dh came home and then he said he had some stuff to do so I could watch whatever..so I put on another dvd and watched many more.. it was glorious. And it transported me back to a time when life was easy and fun.. and I plan to make it that again, somehow.

LMAO at this fertility blog

BBT -Barren but terrific!!

http://999reasonstolaughatinfertility.blogspot.com/

I should really learn to go to bed when I'm tired..

The over-analyzing phantom symptoms fun has started again even though I could have only o'ed last night (but there is a very slight possibility that I could have o'ed about 12 days ago), let's see what google has to say..

1. Very emotional (was crying pretty much non-stop watching Pet Psychic on Animal Planet..for two hours.): probably some sort of mental disorder..

2. Pinching feeling in my uterus last night: probably something I imagined because I read on the Gp board the day before that a girl had that as a pg symptom and I thought "What a weird thing to feel..." and then the next night, I swear to you, it felt like someone was inside my body and pinching me down where I assume my uterus (or bladder..) is! And I couldn't find anything on google.. so I'm thinking this could also be some sort of mental disorder.

3. Lots and lots of creamy cm: I can't remember if this normally happens before Af or not.

4. Random cramps: I get these all the time, especially during the last half of my cycle but I always hold out hope that they mean something.

5. Headaches every night for the past 5 days: probably leftover symptom of cold I had last week

And I'll stop now.. I'm sure I'll have more things to add up until Af shows just like she always does, yippee..